Master opsec list for defending against government surveillance: Against Russia, use a Russian keyboard layout. Against NSO, use a US phone number. Against China, put "伟大的防火墙" in your bio Against the US, change your legal name to "[US Person 1]" Slowly coming together
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If anybody in the world did change their legal name to [US Person 1] and then started selling plutonium or whatever, the US government would come to an absolute standstill trying to work through that mess. It would be incredible.
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No, that's actually their name ... no they're not a US pers... ugh ffs we've already had 67 meetings about this, please, yes, it's stupid, we all hate him so so so so much, just, ... please. He's selling plutonium.
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Here's the report about [US Person 1] entering the United States yesterday, but they're also the third individual mentioned in this report. So we masked [US Person 1] as "[US Person 3]", and ... we already know the WH task force is going to ask us to unmask it and ... ffs kill me

9:35 PM · Jul 23, 2021

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Suck it NSA, I'm bulletproof now
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Replying to @pwnallthethings
Q: Who’s on first? A: US Person 1
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Replying to @pwnallthethings
"I thought [US Person 3] was not a US citizen!?" "You mean [US Person 1]?"
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I am laughing too much at this
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Replying to @pwnallthethings
I am IRL crying at this thread right now, but honestly, this is why the good lord created drones.
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Just make sure you sign the approval to crater [US person 1], and not the other one.
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Replying to @pwnallthethings
Solution: If they are a US person, simply rewrite the report so they're mentioned first. If they're not: mask as "[Arstotzkian Person 1]"
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Replying to @pwnallthethings
I wonder if it would backfire spectacularly like those people that get the license plate "NULL"
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Replying to @pwnallthethings
Is this how you get root access?
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