Noted cat-haver. Pseudonymous gallows humorist. My friends call me Dan. Instagram.com/realtomtomorro…

New York City
Joined April 2008
Tom Tomorrow needs a new bit for the profile retweeted
Pretty depressing to know that Matty Hot Takes makes like like 10x as much as me
Suggests a takehome of ~$620,000 after @SubstackInc's cut. Not too shabby!
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in trump's america, reality satirize you
Replying to @tomtomorrow
Hopefully you can return to satirizing reality, rather than 4 years of vice versa
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tonight, I'm feeling the weight of the last year, the last four years. Maybe tomorrow will feel more uplifting.
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a sense of relief, sure. but after so much collective loss, hardship, grief, pain, it's not exactly celebratory.
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my god, the amount of emotional and mental energy I've had to devote to that monster, while simultaneously trying to survive some of the worst personal years I've ever been through. I'm just exhausted.
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feeling profoundly grateful to the people in my life who got me through some of this. Including relationships that may not have lasted but were no less meaningful for being finite.
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even this fucking website, it has a well-deserved reputation for being terrible, but it was also a place where we could all sort of help each other through this storm.
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both outside my life and in, things were far more awful than they had to be thanks to circumstances beyond my control, and I'm tired and ready for a new chapter.
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lol look what finally arrived, nearly a month after Christmas and looking significantly cheaper than the already cheap-looking sample photo
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hahaha the little on-off switch just fell off
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why does the cat make so much noise *as I am opening the can of cat food*? buddy at that point it's a done deal.
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maybe it just translates as "ohmygod I'm getting fed ohmygod I thought you would never feed me again ohmygod"
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Tom Tomorrow needs a new bit for the profile retweeted
OKAY CALIFORNIA. Feinstein's Office is at (310) 914-7300
Dem @SenFeinstein doesn’t appear on board with punishing @SenTedCruz or @HawleyMO for role in challenging electoral college. “I think the Senate is a place of freedom, and people come here to speak their peace”
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I made the mistake of looking back at my schedule to see what I was doing at this time a year ago and uggghh life was better in the before times
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The last two weeks of January 2020 were filled with people, with who I was doing things, out in the world
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I do not recommend looking back at your calendar as a fun leisure time pandemic activity
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ohhhh the jokes I am holding inside right now
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